author
Champion of misfits, underdogs & that odd kid who always sat alone in the school cafeteria.
(Spoiler Alert: I qualify as all of the above.)
About…CURSED
Hi everyone, my name is Karol Ruth Silverstein. I am the author of Cursed. And I thought I'd tell you a little bit about the book, and about myself, and why I decided to write it. So, the story Cursed is about a 14-year-old girl named Ricky, and she is newly diagnosed with a painful chronic illness and seriously pissed off about it. And before the story started, Ricky's life wasn't awesome to begin with. Her parents had had a really messy divorce, and her big sister Danny, who she really loves and is close to, just started college and is less available. So Ricky was feeling a little alone and pissed off anyway, and then her diagnosis came. And….it was really…. the last straw. She's just like, screw you Universe. So I wrote the story at the suggestion of a mentor. I was being mentored as a screenwriter by a woman named Holly Goldberg Sloan who, back in the 90s, was a really successful writer and director of family films, and since then has become an incredibly successful author of Middle Grade and YA novels, and she's amazing. I really recommend her books. But we met when she was gonna mentor me as a screenwriter, and got to know each other, and she thought that story of my getting sick at 13 was really, really interesting, and she encouraged me to write about it.
I wasn't dead set on doing that. I like to follow mentors' suggestions, but my issue was—I wasn't sure how to tell the story in a way that was authentic to my experience. Because what I had seen and read involving stories with sick kids is that they were sort of sentimental and motivational, and these kids with all this grace, and inspiring others around them, that they it… was all gonna be okay, and some of those stories are great, but it wasn't how it happened for me. I was really angry, really self-absorbed, sort of a typical teenager, or bad teenager, in every way other than I had this horrible chronic illness that was so painful. And I was angry, and I lashed out and didn't ask for help, didn't have the support. And I…had never seen that story. So I thought, if I'm gonna write a book, I need to find a way to tell it that is authentic to what I went through, because I figured there are probably other kids out there whose experiences were more similar to mine than some of the inspirational stuff that we see. So, years later—I put it on a back burner, worked on a lot of other things—years later, I was in a writing workshop. And there was just a little writing exercise, and the prompt was: pick an age and write as yourself at that age. So I picked 13. And just out came the angry, curse-word-laden rants of this kid, who was newly diagnosed with a horrible painful condition and sent to live with her dad, because it was supposed to be easier for her, but she was mad at her dad, she was mad at the world. She’s cutting weeks and weeks of school and dreading when she would eventually be caught and be forced to go back to the school.
And I read that—I still have those pages from that notebook—I read this thing, and I thought:
That's it. That's how I can tell the story. That's my kid. That's the kid who's going to tell my story in that authentic way. And it took me a long, long time, like an embarrassingly long time, to write Cursed, because it was very raw. And I just wrote whatever scenes came to me at the time. I actually wrote it out of sequence, which is…bananas, I would not recommend that. But eventually, I had a book that was that was really something I think hadn't been published before, and luckily my agent, Jen Linnan, agreed and thought it was a really important book, and that we had to get it out there.
And…It took a while, not the easiest book to sell. But Monica Perez at Charlesbridge Teen saw value in my story and helped me to make it into the book that it is today. So I hope you like Cursed. Cursed is…probably not like other books you've read. It really puts you into the mind and the shoes of someone dealing with chronic pain on a day-to-day, moment-to-moment basis. But it's also funny, you know? It's funny, and it is hopeful, but not…with any miracle cures. That was something I definitely wanted to avoid. So, Cursed is available everywhere, and I'm gonna be making some more videos that detail different parts and different themes in the book. And I hope you enjoy the videos, and I hope you enjoy the book.
Take care, everyone.
Video Transcription
"About....CURSED"
About…ARTHRITIS
So, hi, I'm Karol Ruth Silverstein. I am the author of the young adult novel, Cursed, from Charlesbridge Teen. And I thought I'd tell you a little bit about…Arthritis. And you're probably thinking, what? Why would I want to know anything about arthritis? I wish I didn't know anything about arthritis, but…the truth is, I've had arthritis since I was 13. And I'm…a little older now. And the problem for me, with arthritis, was I had this certain idea, as many people do, about what arthritis is, and what it was like. And I remember as a kid, I used to see this commercial on TV, and it was for some kind of aspirin or some over-the-counter pain reliever. And it showed an older woman coming down the steps at her home, taking one step at a time, and the voiceover said: Grandma can't make breakfast this morning because of the minor aches and pains of her arthritis. And then she would take whatever painkiller it was that the commercial was for and then it was, like, the happy scene with her feeding her family, and everything was all better.
And…when I first got diagnosed, I was in such excruciating pain. I mean, you just…you really have to take it from me that you can't imagine how painful arthritis is. And I struggled to reconcile in my head this commercial, this grandma, first of all, and her minor aches and pains, and how she took an aspirin, or whatever it was, and suddenly was back to her normal self. For me, I was just an unspeakable pain, and in particular, that first year. It's just so hard, because you're dealing with all the physical pain, and you're dealing with the enormity of the emotional change that you're going to have this thing that's horribly painful for which there's no cure, and it's your new normal, and it's…something you're gonna be dealing with for the rest of your life. I didn't know then that the pain would get a little better. I mean, I've had times when it's worse, and times when it's better. But nothing was as bad as that first year. And I learned about arthritis. I learned that it's not what a lot of people think it is. There are kind of two most common types of arthritis. One is osteoarthritis, which a lot of older people get, or people who are athletes, you know, like a major league catcher might have arthritis in his knees later in life, from a career of squatting for hours. And a lot off older people [get it]. It's very common. A lot of animals get osteoarthritis.
But the kind I have is rheumatoid arthritis, and that's more of a systemic disease. Different people have it in different numbers of joints. I have what's called now polyarticular, which just means every single freaking joint. Joints I didn't even know were joints have been painful at times, and it affects your blood. It's an overall chronic illness that's a little different than osteo. And there are a lot of different, less common types of arthritis. There's a whole umbrella of rheumatic diseases. I just had juvenile rheumatoid arthritis, and people look at me and they see that I'm, you know, pretty….disabled from the disease, and they think I must have some sort of uncommon, rare, really bad form of arthritis, and it's like—nope—this is just plain old regular arthritis, though I have had a particularly bad time with it. Some people my age who were diagnosed as kids aren't nearly as affected by it as I am. And the great news is now they have wonderful new medications, so a lot of people diagnosed, newly diagnosed today, have a much better shot at just a regular life.
So my book is about a kid dealing with that first horrible, overwhelming, extraordinary year of diagnosis, and I hope it helps readers that maybe have gone through something extraordinarily painful and haven't felt seen and heard. We're all kind of going through a new normal right now. I'm recording this during the pandemic, where we're all sheltering in place, or most of us are. New normals are not usually fun. But we do survive them, right? We do make it through. So, is there a time in your life when you've had to deal with a new normal? Maybe you moved, maybe you had some upset in your family, maybe you lost a grandparent, or a friend, or a pet. I invite you to write a little bit, think about yourself going through that situation, and just free write. And let the emotions fly, ‘cause it's helpful. I really find it's helpful.
So thanks for listening.
Video Transcription:
About…ARTHRITIS
About…BEGINNINGS
Hey, quick heads up, I'm gonna read an excerpt from my book, and there's some strong language in there. I mean, it's not like wall-to-wall expletives or anything. But there are a few curse words. If that's not a fit for your sensibilities, please check out some of my other videos.
They're not all full of curse words, promise.
Hi, this is Karol Ruth-Silverstein. I am the author of Cursed. And I wanted to talk to you a little bit about beginnings today. So I started my novel in a way that actually a lot of writing classes and instructors will tell you, don't do that. Don't have your character looking in the mirror and describing herself. So [in Cursed] she's not actually looking in the mirror, but she is just directly letting the reader know some stuff about her. And the reason I decided to do this is because Ricky is what's known as an unreliable narrator, which means that you can't rely on the information she's telling you. Some of it is false, much of it is just her interpretation of things. And I liked it because it was funny. And it let you know her attitude and how she's dealing with, or not dealing with as it were, this new situation that she finds herself in.
So I'm gonna read a little bit for you. She starts out in Chapter 1, which is called the Me I Am Now.
Here's the basic info on me. The me I am now, anyway.
One, I currently live with my dad in his one-bedroom bachelor pad, aka Dr. Dad's batch pad. He obviously wasn't thinking about me or my older sister, Dani, when he rented this place. All there is for us to sleep on when we visit is the lumpy pull-out couch and his poor excuse for a living room. Right after Thanksgiving, the disaster formerly known as my parents decided I should live here. For my own good, they said. Now I'm riding the sofa bed from hell full-time, and Dani’s so busy at college studying every second she's not burning up the basketball court, she hardly ever visits.
Two, I'm 14, and I'm in middle school. I kid you not. I was in high school, like a normal 14-year-old back in the beginning of the year, before I got shipped to my dad's. Now I'm enrolled in Glorious Grant Middle School, the only 7-8-9 school left in Philadelphia. Maybe the only one left in the country. It was the only school close to the batch pad that the disaster formerly known as my parents could get me into mid-year.
Three, speaking of Glorious Grant Middle School, I haven't actually attended classes since the last week of December. Which was about 6 weeks ago. No one knows, not mom, not Dr. Dad, not even Dani. Soon enough, my secret will be out, and if I'm lucky, my parents will just kill me. If I'm not, they'll force me to go back to Gloria's Grant Middle School, where I may or may not still be able to pass 9th grade.
Four, my life seriously sucks. In case you haven't picked up on that yet. And it's not just living with Dr. Dad and going to middle school, even though I'm 14, or some other bullshit. Like the boy I'm crushing on isn't crushing back. Trust me, my particular life suckage is on a whole different level. For the record, the boy I was crushing on was totally crushing back. Until I got sick.
Five, about that. I have this pathetic disease. Never mind what it's called. If I told you, you'd laugh and think I was joking. That's what Crush Boy did right before he ghosted me. I did an internet search 3 months ago when I was first diagnosed. And what had turned up was so depressing, I decided the less I knew, the better. Worse yet, pretty much no one gives a crap about this boring-ass disease. It's not something that would prompt my classmates to shave their heads in solidarity or have a bake sale for me. I doubt it's ever trended on Twitter. It's just this embarrassing, painful, fucked up thing I have.
Six, and yeah, I curse. Deal with it.
So that's Ricky's little list, that's what she wants you to know about her when the story starts. And you'll learn that a lot of that is just how she sees her life through the lens of this horribly painful condition she finds herself in. And I invite you to do a little writing exercise. Make a list about yourself. It's called the Me I Am Now. Do about 5-6 things, and create a portrait of who you are. Now, you can do it straightforward, you can make it funny, you can make it mysterious, you can completely lie and be deceptive. Whatever it is, it's a creative project. You can approach it whatever way inspires you. So write your list, and see. Maybe you'll have fun with it. I hope you have fun with it.
Thanks for listening.
Video Transcription: About...Beginnings
Video Transcripts: CURSED Book Drive
CURSED BOOK DRIVE VIDEOS—TRANSCRIPTS
Book Drive Intro
Hey, so July is Juvenile Arthritis Awareness Month, and it also happens to be the month the paperback edition of Cursed is coming out. So, what to do, what to do? I decided to celebrate both of those things by having a book drive. What that entails is that people will buy paperback copies of Cursed to be donated to local teens with chronic illnesses and disabilities. I partnered with a local organization called Coach Art, which does really cool stuff and they're gonna get the books out to kids. So if you want to find out more about the book drive, and you want to participate, and for other really cool curse-related content see my website, karolruthsilverstein.com. Thanks.
Cheryl
Hi, my name is Cheryl, and when I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis at 21 years old, I had never seen any stories or any videos about other young people with arthritis, and that is why Cursed is such an important book. The main character is allowed to be a full, complex human living with juvenile idiopathic arthritis, and it is so, so common for people diagnosed with this disease to feel so alone, like no one else understands them, no one else has ever been through what they're going through. Cursed is such an important book because it shows other people with juvenile arthritis that they're not alone, and that they don't have to force themselves into this tight, inspirational narrative. They're allowed to be a full, complete human that sometimes gets mad, sometimes feels awful, sometimes feels frustrated… but also wants love and wants friendship just like everyone else.
​
Cori
I was 9 when I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. And I think at that time, that was many years ago, my medical team was so concerned with having me feel normal that nobody talked about the feelings that I might have of feeling different, because there were things that I had to do to manage my diabetes that other kids didn't have to do, and I felt weird. I felt… abnormal, and I felt like I can't talk about it. When I read Karol Silverstein's book, Cursed it was such a delight on so many levels. It's just a beautiful coming-of-age story. It brought me back to that time in my life and having crushes and those feelings, and butterflies, and… relationships growing up, and relationships with parents and family. But also, all of that through the lens of having a chronic illness and how that's different than people that don't have chronic illnesses.
A.J.
Having been diagnosed with juvenile arthritis at a young age myself, I felt very isolated and alone. At the time, I thought I was the only kid in the world who was going through what I was going through. There were days I thought I might not survive because I didn't understand what was going on. It was a… very frightening time in my life. I wish, at the time, I had had a book like Cursed to read, to learn from, to see that I was not the only child going through the things that I was going through. To see that when I became a teenager, that I was not the only teen with a sassy, sarcastic, sometimes potty mouth … who was trying to find ways to deal with all the pressures and confusion that comes with being a teenager, but also being a teenager with a chronic illness. Books like Cursed? We need more of them. I wish we had had more when I was a child. I wish there had been any when I was a child, there just were not. This book is written in a way that anyone going through something similar can understand it. Can learn from it can hopefully find a little bit of their own grace. But also have that knowledge and comfort that they are not alone. And that… there is still hope. And there is still life after a chronic illness diagnosis.
​
Karol’s Unboxing Video
Hi everyone. I'm Karol Ruth Silverstein, and I have never actually done an unboxing video before. I’m very self-conscious about my hand deformities. But, since this is Disability Pride Month and Juvenile Arthritis Awareness Month, July, I thought it was time for me to kind of get over myself. So, I'm going to give you an unboxing video, hand warts and all. Although, luckily, I don't actually have warts. But it's a saying, you know what I mean. I got this box from Penguin. And I'm pretty sure that it is paperback copies of Cursed. The paperback version of Cursed comes out July 20th, 2021, and I am doing a book drive, which is getting donated copies of the paperback for local kids who have chronic illnesses and disabilities.
Here's a little letter from Charlesbridge, see? And it says, Dear Karol, at long last enclosed are the promo copies of the paperback. My publisher, Charlesbridge Teen, is donating some paperback copies to our book drive, which is very sweet of them. And here it is, with the Schneider Family Award sticker.
So there you have it, my paperback, my first ever unboxing video… and my cat. Enjoy Disability Pride Month, and… If you have something about your body that you're super self-conscious about, you might wanna give it a shot to let go of that, even if temporarily. I did it, I lived to tell the tale. Thanks, everyone.
Coda: Is it a box? Would you like the box to be empty, so you can get in it?